Sunday, September 21, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 1:30 AM
it wasnt my fault. 1:08 AM
Thursday, September 18, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 11:07 PM
Friday, September 12, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 12:09 AM
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 11:06 PM
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Labels: dont leave me it wasnt my fault. 12:43 AM
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 12:26 AM
19 SEPTEMBER!FRIDAY...start of my daywith some1...whom i describe it as...my shrine of happiness...and who is that person...ITS MY WIFE!!!Nurul Suaidah Btw Roslan..put me wif a big smile on my face...;Dim so proud to have you..as my GF..i really do...went school...we were running late...!luckily we made it in time...weehee..MY GOD MUM!!thanks ehk...BUT!! BUT!!everytime i went into ISH..i always have this feeling of MELANCHOLY..always sad...had to be seperated with my WIFE...how could you?you left me hanging...breathing is hard w/o you around me...yet...i had to leave it that way...went for my PRELIM..only chemistry for that day...ended at 9.15am..i know...its way damn so early..but still i didnt went home...i stayed at school...waited for MUMMY!!weehee...DING DONG DING DONG!!!bell for dismissal!!met up wif baby...and send her home...after sending her home...i thought of sitting under 143 voiddeck..as the sun is blazing hot...the weather..TK BLEH TAHAN AK...my body were weak then...walking home wasnt at my mind at all...soo i slacked there all by myself...till 4+pm...i was all alone...SLEEPING!mummy msged me...she was shocked when she got to knowthat im still there...she went down...and send me home...ouh...soo good of her...if she didnt came down...i dont think i will be coming home..till the time for breakingFAST...she came to my house...sat around...chit chat...dhen i followed her to fetch his lil bro from school...and send them back home...and i went HOME!wow...this damn tiring...thirst to DEATH!!oh...spending most of my time...with baby..is what i borned to do...i really do love you syang...do syang me back please...
TRYING TO RECALL!!! MONDAY!!went school wif mummy...as for normal...had MT 'O' prelim paper..i dont know how i fair for it...it look easy but when result is out...it sucks to the core!hopefully a PASS for MT is good enough...for my standard...weehee...soo..after school...send mummy to teck whye...to her friend's house...while me...went to my grandma house...which was 2 blocks away...stayed till 5.30pm...before meeting mummy...to send her home...that day...was very tiring...i slept all the way while at my grandma house...nothing to do...everybody sleeping...aiyer...might as well i join them right?weehee.. TUESDAY!!!erm...again...morning wif mummy...went school and ya...we are not late...yeppi!and again...having 'O' prelim...its social studies...end at 10.30am...soo stayed at school till 11.30amweehee...juz to spent my time wif mummyduring recess...accompany her dhen i went home...dhen reached home...wash up...rest...and went off again...took mummy to my crib...asked her out for design for my wall...well..design was okey la...juz need abit of touch-up...and all of it will be PERFECT!weehee... WEDNESDAY!!well its a normal routine...start of my day wif mummy...and again..EXAMS!!!'O' PRELIM!!!having maths and geo...sorry dear....kept giving you wrong timing...i know ure dissapointed...but still...we did met...paper ended at 1.30pm..its soo late...and mummy were waiting for me...in the canteen..she studying while me...need to attend chemistry class for an hour...soo around 3.30pm...class dismissed...went to my BABY...ure been miss alot you see...soo after that...send her home...and i went home too...had to drag my legs la...soo tiring... THURSDAY!!!well said...morning wif darling...the same old thing...PRELIMS!!!soo stressed up...two str8 weeks...im having EXAMS!!can mati liao!abit more to go...until im FREE from this STRESS!wohoo!need enjoy these sickening exams...soo paper ended early...soo waited for mummy...she end school at 2.30pm...soo slack at school till 4.30...before we got my ASSES moving...soo yea...went home...HOME SWEET HOME.. its about LOVE..mummy i love you can?i really do love you...please love me!!please!!begging you!!:Pbleahs...
today go...tomorrow come...every single day...it will repeat itself...comparing it with me...its exactly the same...i did the same thing..over and over again...its clear now...i get it all...if only i had known it...if only i did realised it earlier..its all about me...i know...its me...blaming the past...wont bring any good...or even...wont bring anything...i know...ure sick n tired of hearing me saying...i wont hurt you again...i wont make you angry again...however...i just cant fullfill these sentence...these phrase...theses words...stupid of me...to be spitting out words like that...if i cant fullfill it...i really mean it when i say it...but why?why i keep hurting you?why?i just cant understand myself right now...i understand thatright now...for you to trust guyz...is completely difficult...after what you had gone through...in youre past...maybe boys are always the same..i wont be angry wif you...if you think that way towards me...i know...theres still doubts in you towards me...to trust guyz...is already difficult...how about trusting me?worst...its okey...im fine wif it...im good...see ((:all of these takes time...
it went smoothly today...i love it..as usual..start my day with mummy...we are late today..but however..we manage to get to ISH in time for the pledge..well..after that..its N prelim paper...aiyer...luckily its not hard like what i expected...somehow...i feel that i could pass ((:hehe...both papers ended at around 12.40pm...soo yea...waited for mummy..she ends at 1.30pm...waited n waited...DING DONG!!!the sound of dimissal...met mummy at foyer...i send her to bus-stop...shes going to ana's house...soo yea...send her till there only...i tot of sending her to ana's haus....but sorry...my body is weak...whether is very hot...and also im not feeling well lately...after she went off...i sat at the bus-stop for quiet sometimes...or i can say...a very very long time...my body are tired to move...reached home...str8 away went to bed...soo tired...and i woke up...recieve quite a number of msges from mummy...sorry i didnt reply it earlier...i was sleeping...and i got to know...nobody taking her lil brother home from school...what the?soo i decide to take him home from school...thought of bringing him to my house...to break fast...but mummy's parents ask to meet them at their home...soo send him back...and and and...guess what?i got ride from mummy's parents...they send me home ((:thankiu alot...appreciate it alot...well...just getting to know them better though...hehe...then...after breaking fast...i bath all...and went out to mummy's blk to study..soo met mummy awhile...dhen she went home...shes tired...soo yea...thats for today...HAPPY!weeheee....!
cant get myself into bed...didnt slept for 4days now...add today...its gona be 5days...something kept bothering me...but im not sure what is it...kept running in my mind...but its juz not clear for me to see it all..i have been missing mummy lately...we have not been meeting each otherfor quite some times...i dont want our relationship to get..further and further apart...im glad that mummy had confessednow i know what mummy dislike about me..really seek for your fullest understanding...im trying to change...i do sound harsh at times...but i didnt realised it..i get it all now mummy...i gave myself the whole night yesterday...and i know...what i really want in my life...like you said...dont let breakoff be the solution...and i wont...now...all i ever wanted is...really...to be with you...i doesnt matter now..what people say...i wont give a damn about it...all i know is that i want you...its mummy...who have been with me all these while...who i could shed my tears with...who i can turn to whenever im down..who cares about me..mummy is the only one...that i could trust right now...mummy have been there for me..EVERYTIME..but im have been bad towards mummy all these while...mummy...kalau mummy da tk tahan ngan sikap daddy...mummy blang daddy tau...daddy tau...daddy dah berkali-kali sakit kn hati mummy...daddy dah puas sakitkn hati mummy...daddy dah tknk mummy disakiti...sejak mummy ngan daddy...daddy tk pernah bagi mummy ketenangan...mummy tk pernah happy...daddy da sedar nih smue mummy...daddy menyesal...daddy menyesal berkelakuan bergitukterhadap mummy...mummy baik kepade daddy...tapi mummy cume dapat...sakitan hati je...daddy da tknk tengok mummy sedih lagik...daddy cube berubah...tapi kadang2...daddy tk boleh...daddy tk tau kenape...tapi...hanya satu bende yang daddynak mummy tau...yang daddy benar2 cintekn mummy...kadang2...bile daddy sendiri...daddy terfikir2 aper yg akan terjadibile mummy daddy berpisah...setakat berfikir je...boleh buat daddy nnges...daddy tk tau mcm mnr nk berkate...tapi yang daddy tau...daddy tk sanggop tinggalkn mummy...daddy tk tau macam mnr hidop daddy tanpa mummy...daddy nk mummy tau...yang mummy nih bererti kepade daddy...mummy adalah hidop daddy...)':mummy...mummy jgn sakali tinggalkn daddy..please?daddy tk sanggop...daddy tk sanggop nk jalankn hidopdaddy tanpa mummy...daddy harap...mummy pon bergituk kat daddy...jangan tinggalkn daddy please...daddy tk kesa mummy buat aper2...tetapi...jangan sampai mummy tinggalkn daddy...
in this silent night...talking things out...i had let it all out what i have to say..today's conversation..is something unusual...right at this moment...im shivering..im scared...with all thats to come..i know..i hv been bad...i realised it all now...im a bad.. really bad...if theres a point of time..that tolerating my attitudeis a pain in the ass...please tell me soo...coz enough is enough...im aint hurting you anymore further...right now...my mind is completely lost..got no aim in life...this is my huge downfall in life...still shivering while typing all these...why did have the courage to stilltolerate me?while others would have left me earlier...why are you going so far...juz for me?im not the person you are searching for..frankly speaking...i really not the type of guy youre searching...i must admit...i do love you...but sometimes...as in always...took you for granted...i have never satisfied youwit all my doings...all i did was giving you the pain in the world...i realised who i am now...im not good for you syg...think back...i think you got the wrong guyz...maybe u were blind for accepting me...im afraid that u will be dissapointed 1 day...theres many more guys better than who i am...nurul suaidah...please give a thought if u really wan me...i dont mind u were in some1 else hand..but i wan that some1 to be better than me...i really wish that you could find that person...silent tears....