Sunday, August 24, 2008
today?
was HELL not OK!
early morning woke up...
went to madrasah..
i know i came late..
but could you nt scold me
like 1 fking kind?
if 1 teacher is fine...
but how many teachers wan scold me?
2? 3? 4?
aku bukan budak2 lagik ehk...
dhen mood swing...
thats for sure...
after madrasah...
i went home...
give friends some calls..
asking back for money right...
wow...
all say no money..
ouh...
when u guyz need money at
that point of time...
all search for me...
but bile nk bayar alek...
satu2 pukimak nye sial...
padahal korg last thursday baru gaji...
cb la korg...
lepas aku dpt alek duit...
korg2
jgn nk harap nk pinjam duit dari aku la ehk...
psl korg kwn aku pinjam...
abeh skrg aper aku dpt?
kalo masi nk bubble lagik?
korang smue bleh pergi la k?
aku nk binget...
kasi muke...
pijak kepale...
puki korg...
jangan sampai aku jalan tangan suda...
and korg2 kwn aku nih ehk...
aku sedar la...
aku kat skola mnr ader rapat ngan korg...
beh...
tkya nk buat aku gini pe...
korg nk ckp aku besarkn nonok?
kalo korg ader pompan...
korg pon besarkn nonok jugak pe...
psl korg tkder...
korg bleh ckp mcm gituk...
kalo tk suke...
boleh ckp depan muke aku kn?
korg nk ckp blakang aku nih smue buat pe?
kalo korg jantan...
sini...
muntahkn aper korg nk ckp depan aku..
gi mampos ehk...
aku boleh hidop mati sorg2 la...
and baek punye ehk fams...
nk layan mcm tknk layan...
ckp sikit da tk suke...
pekik2...
wth siak....
buat nih salah...
buat tuu salah...
abeh nk buat aper lagik?
satu2 kluar boleh..
adik kat sini...
nk kluar jap...
tk bleh?
come on la...
be reasonable...
i tried to hide all my probs within myself...
but sometimes...
it hard..
and i need to let it out...
i had may look happy...
but actually...
im slowly dying inside...
hiding my probs thinking that..
i wont hurt any1 around me...
but instead...
i hurt some1 alot that i expected...
my one n only bby...
i knew shes angry wif me...
thats for sure...
i kept all my probs...
w/o u knowing it...
i dont wan you to b worrying abt me...
this few days...
i admit..
i not being myself...
thats something i cant deny...
i tried to cntrol my patience...
my angry...
my ego...
my emo...
but i juz cant manage to pull through it...
i just fall into the ground...
helplessly...
i thought...
i could have u understanding me...
but sometimes you cant...
im not angry wif you...
that you cant understand me...
well i must admit...
its bcoz of my attitude
which made you...
nt to understand me...
i guess...
by doing this...
im making bby..
more sadden...
everytime...
i made you sad...
i do felt this sense of regret..
i really do...
right now...
to capture back your trust...
will take sometime...
for you to forgive me for my
wrong doing...
do takes sometime...
i know its hard for you...
but somehow...
ure not the cause of it...
i the reason that all of this is happening..
is all bcoz of me...
like u said...
sorry, please
is what u heard from me always...
well...
words is just words...
action speak greater then words...
idk what else i could do now...
to make you know...
that i really regret doing all this...
i really wish to stop this..
nonsense of mine...
and continue wif the normal US...
i really do...
idaris
it wasnt my fault. 8:46 PM
