Sunday, August 31, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 12:09 AM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 10:19 PM
it wasnt my fault. 8:46 PM
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Labels: bby im missing you... it wasnt my fault. 5:22 PM
Monday, August 18, 2008
Labels: i miss yuh it wasnt my fault. 10:45 PM
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 12:14 AM
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 11:53 PM
Sunday, August 10, 2008
it wasnt my fault. 5:57 AM
okey... SHIT!i broke it!!oh this stupid attitude of mine!!NO NO NO!it shudnt be this way!whats done is done...theres no turning back in time...but i just cant accept the fact...its nearly 4 weeks...w/o probs...and guessed what?!?!bcoz of me!yea bcoz of me!!probs rose...its not that i want it to happen...btw me and bby...thats not meant to be!!oh god!!help us through...its ripping me apart...everything in my life...aint going like how i expect it to go...felt like everything going aginist me!!shyt shyt shyt!!im hating this...did i really did something wrong...to get all this punishment?did i?did i?maybe i did sumthink wrong...but i just dunno why...just need to bear wif it...maybe its just something...to test me out i guess?ouh hack care...patience harris...patience....and and...for babygirl....well...i do know u hurt the most...im just who i am...aint changing for the better...i kept saying words that...im aint gona hurt u again...but...the past just kept repeating itself...problems rises...seriously...i hate the way i am...im the cause of it to happen...today was shyt i tell you...shyt...i dont like it...keeping my problems to myself...end up hurting some1 else...the reason that i dont wan to tell you abt my problems...because...i dont wan to make u worry...although i did told u some of my probs...but i say it in a normal tone...soo that it wont be soo obvious...and so that...u wont get yourself worried and all...but i get it now...my doings were wrong...i hurted u deeply...haizz...sorry...
today?was HELL not OK!early morning woke up...went to madrasah..i know i came late..but could you nt scold melike 1 fking kind?if 1 teacher is fine...but how many teachers wan scold me?2? 3? 4?aku bukan budak2 lagik ehk...dhen mood swing...thats for sure...after madrasah...i went home...give friends some calls..asking back for money right...wow...all say no money..ouh...when u guyz need money atthat point of time...all search for me...but bile nk bayar alek...satu2 pukimak nye sial...padahal korg last thursday baru gaji...cb la korg...lepas aku dpt alek duit...korg2jgn nk harap nk pinjam duit dari aku la ehk...psl korg kwn aku pinjam...abeh skrg aper aku dpt?kalo masi nk bubble lagik?korang smue bleh pergi la k?aku nk binget...kasi muke...pijak kepale...puki korg...jangan sampai aku jalan tangan suda...and korg2 kwn aku nih ehk...aku sedar la...aku kat skola mnr ader rapat ngan korg...beh...tkya nk buat aku gini pe...korg nk ckp aku besarkn nonok?kalo korg ader pompan...korg pon besarkn nonok jugak pe...psl korg tkder...korg bleh ckp mcm gituk...kalo tk suke...boleh ckp depan muke aku kn?korg nk ckp blakang aku nih smue buat pe?kalo korg jantan...sini...muntahkn aper korg nk ckp depan aku..gi mampos ehk...aku boleh hidop mati sorg2 la...and baek punye ehk fams...nk layan mcm tknk layan...ckp sikit da tk suke...pekik2...wth siak....buat nih salah...buat tuu salah...abeh nk buat aper lagik?satu2 kluar boleh..adik kat sini...nk kluar jap...tk bleh?come on la...be reasonable...i tried to hide all my probs within myself...but sometimes...it hard..and i need to let it out...i had may look happy...but actually...im slowly dying inside...hiding my probs thinking that..i wont hurt any1 around me...but instead...i hurt some1 alot that i expected...my one n only bby...i knew shes angry wif me...thats for sure...i kept all my probs...w/o u knowing it...i dont wan you to b worrying abt me...this few days...i admit..i not being myself...thats something i cant deny...i tried to cntrol my patience...my angry...my ego...my emo...but i juz cant manage to pull through it...i just fall into the ground...helplessly...i thought...i could have u understanding me...but sometimes you cant...im not angry wif you...that you cant understand me...well i must admit...its bcoz of my attitude which made you...nt to understand me...i guess...by doing this...im making bby..more sadden...everytime...i made you sad...i do felt this sense of regret..i really do...right now...to capture back your trust...will take sometime...for you to forgive me for mywrong doing...do takes sometime...i know its hard for you...but somehow...ure not the cause of it...i the reason that all of this is happening..is all bcoz of me...like u said...sorry, pleaseis what u heard from me always...well...words is just words...action speak greater then words...idk what else i could do now...to make you know...that i really regret doing all this...i really wish to stop this..nonsense of mine...and continue wif the normal US...i really do...
idaris
well im tired...the day went smoothly...no problems today..oh im happy wit that...today is late day...as usual...went wit school wit bby..but why ak?the bitches today...like soo kind to me?ask me this ask me that...its like soo the different..want something from me or what?but i hackcare...first period was english..did preparation for the CLAPbut i guessed...my group wont complte it...my group is the worst...laugh loudly..but no work done...if only i am serious...they all get serious...wtf seh u all...wan depend on me?well..after english lesson...it was math...we gt bck our class test paper...for i jusr pass...wth?why express paper so hard?soo not N lvl standard ...its like O stnandard..well i know my standings now...still got tym for me...soo...after maths..its recess time!!when its recess...its time to meet BABY!!!oh baby..ure having a bad day...ure eyes are in pain...not eating during recess too...well...bby is suffering..soo sad...and so..recess over...baby accompanied me to my class...took my things for MTand dhen send baby back to her class...during MT lesson...teacher write something on the board...about imbuhan la kn...dhen tibe2 got a word..sumthing SUAI...dhen i smile at myself..and shouted EH ADER SUAI!!haha...cikgu dhen quickly replied me seh...EH BUKAN SUAIDAH EHK...muahaha...suke la kn...dhen after that...she came to me...looked at my foolscap paper...like soo the normal thing to do eh?like the foolscap paper is yous gituk..come my desk...dhen just take my foolscapand look at what i had written...soo after MT..its MR BORING lesson...well..my attiude during his lesson wasnt bad...i kept quiet almost all the tym...but at later part...i slept...and he woke me up...and again the whole class was looking at me...wth?i sleep awhile also wrong ak?wan stare me for whad?dhenDING DONG DING DONG!!school bell rang...but teacher still teaching...wth...soo dimissed abit late...packed my beg..ran to baby's class...i looked...nobody here...i thought she left me oledi...soo i went to the foyer...otw there..i saw her...she said she was finding for me...but then...i explained to her why im late...soo since her eyes are in pain...she decided to go home str8...soo i accompanied her home...from the look of it...i know shes hurting...after sending her home...i went home too...lazy to go back to school for lesson...its been soo many times that i ran awayfrom PE!!aiyo...reached home...change to house clothes...online and gave her a call...dhen i online...she also online...but still im talking to her la kn...after that..i ate wif my father...and know what?!?my lil bro havent reached home yet...and its already 3+father was like soo curious...in an angry tone...but im normal la kn...im also like my lil bro last time..but im worst than him..soo no point getting all tense up..when im also like him...'dhen...after eating...chat wif baby at msn....and she told me to accompany her to bangkit...she need to buy new contact lenses...maybe because of the contact lenses...her eyes is in pain...soo around 3.40..met up wif baby at pending lrt...as she dont wan to trouble me to go to her voiddeck...soo yea...met up wif her at pending lrt...went to bangkit wif her...brought her contact lenses and send her back...and my legs were soo tired...and everytime i take a step...it hurts...but i dont hack care...what i care is that...im wif baby...dhen when crossing the traffic light...TERNAIK SIOL!!!baby know i know best la kn...haha then went to BP CC for awhile...did some business there....hahax...going into the CC was like a maze...everywhere was like a DEAD END...but we made it out safe n sound...thanks to me la kn...hehe...then send her back...today..2 times outside your house la kn..you know i know...dhen after that...went back home str8...i was walking soo the damn slow...hard to move...tired n pain...reached home was abg 4.45?i think so la kn...then called bby to tell her thati reached home oledi...soo she wont be soo worriedabout my whereabout...then...i used my cuzzin laptop...soo that i could lie on the bed...body is weak...soo yea ...im here blogging...chatting wif my baby..only her ehk...nobody else...we are talking about the past..about how we met each other...soo cute lar kn...we both... ((:soo yea thats it for today...i spend most of my time wif bby...my one and only..my everything...till then...i will be posting more...bubbye to all readers...
idaris
konnichiwa!!
oh...
hows my NEW BLOGSKIN??took a 2hours for me to get it done...
well...
how issit?
well..
its been 5 days since i last update my blog..
i think i shud sit down...
and write something...
past few days are OKEY...
not muching HAPPENINGS...
last thursday and friday..
i was dismissed early...
due to N prelim...
took english and social studies...
English paper 2 was HARD
i dont even know what i am reading...
didnt understand the whole passage...
dont even know what it wants...
soo im prepared to get A BIG FAT ZERO for papaer 2...
well...the paper 1 is good...
i think i can do well in paper 1
but not paper 2...
for social studies...
oh... last minute revision...
no notes to study...
the night b4 the test...
i had to copy the whole notes from adam...
last whole week...
baby were buzy...
ii were buzy...
both revising for exams...
both wanting the best result...
for our own good of cause...
soo really dont have time..
for each other...
but we made time to meet
at night...
hehe... im glad...
soo saturday...
whole day at home...
total of boredom w/o baby around me...
and for sunday...
which is yesterday..
well...
i did went out...
got kenduri at my grandma haus...
at teck whye...
reach there was around 6.50pm...
went home was around 11pm?
soo the late you know!
thought that i wouldnt get to talk to bby...
or chat wif bby...
but...
i did...
im HAPPY!!!
soo lets talk about today...
its such a wonderful day...
to start my day wif my baby...
went school wf her as usual...
class were boring...
always the same..
worst more...
looking at those faces...
make me SICK!
hate that class...
how i wish i wasnt in class 4ip...
rather be in other class which i felt...
more appreciated with...guessed what?i made a teacher angry like FK!teacher you BORING!!!heard that YOU BORING!!!throw things?kick the chair?im not afraid at all...worst more...im laughing at you all the way...no words of yours gona go through my head...coz i dont wan to listen to those lectures of yours..coz youre BORING!!but if ever you lay a hand on me..be sure to get a punch at your face!from 12.30pm onwards...no teaecher in class...oh baby..if you had told me that u left school at 2...i had go out wif you already seh...wth seh you...dumbontot btol...soo after dismissal..i went to blk 249..baby waiting for me there...as soon as i reached ...baby had to accompany nurul to schoolfor the financial form i guess...not sure about it...soo...yea...sat that wif sherhan...and surain...but not long...baby came...and we both went off...baby going to meet her cousin at bt batok..soo i went to send her there...reach bt batok already...her cussin wasnt there yet..luckily i didnt leave you at the mrt platform la kn...if not ure alone...soo sat there...chit chat wif baby jap...while waiting...few mins..her cuzzin came...soo i guessed...its time for our seperate ways...her cuzzin brought many of her friends...all girls...i was there...told myself...WTFF!!!soo i left baby wif a kiss..i get going in a hurry la kn...on the platform..i saw baby goin into westmall... ((:after i left baby...went str8 home..im lazy to go slacking around all that...tired you see...reached home...luckily i used my own key...and i get to know that...baby's house key was wif me...gave a msg to remind her thather key is wif me...soo she wont be soo the KANCONGwhen she realised that her key was gone...then then...baby called me...saying that shes gona go home alone...father not fetching her...she told me to accompany her home..soo yea...left house around 6.30 gituk...and when i reached bp interchange...where i was suppose to meet her...she gave me a msg tell that..she just LEFT the house...soo...i just sat at the interchange...waited for her to reach...waited for her...about 1hr+...but i dont mind...waiting for her is worth while...spending time wif her...is best thing that i ever wanted...even for a short time...i cherish it baby... ((:after she reached...send her back home...its was drizzling...soo went under voiddeck...oh bby...i get more kisses than you today...im glad((:its been a long tym since i got one...soo here i am...blogging here...well...its getting late now...and elder bro are nagging at me..asking me to stop playing the laptop..as he wan to go to sleep...soo i guess i will end it here then...once again...baby...i really miss you... idaris
Oh Bby...i felt the same way like you do..reached home...SCOLDINGS N LECTURING is what i get...could you family atleast ask nicely first?rather then jumping into problems?i know its late...but..i went out for a purpose...WORST MORE!!!i knocking the door...pressing the bell..many times...you people just dont bother?i didnt feel any sadness...yet i felt happy...you people sitting on the sofa..in the LIVING SUMMOREjust hack care about me!just say so if you DONT wan meIN THE HOUSE...coz..when door is not yet openfor a long tym...i already thought of meeting aimanmaybe SLEEP at his house...better off than staying at home...where i dont get the LOVE i wanted...i do know that you parents are working...for US...but its just too much for me...we aint spending time together...like how we used too...just tell me...THIS YEAR FROM 1JAN TO 12AUGdid we even out for a family outside...spending time of our own?DID WE?DID WE?u said i dont know about time...YES I DONT KNOW!but thenDO YOU KNOW ABOUT TIME THEN?giving LOVE that i wan...i can just ask you to stop working...i dont need money...i can earned money myself...only love from prnts that money cannot buy...looking at other familys...i felt SADthis sadness that you will never know..as you wont be knowing itonly if you read my blog you will know...coz i wont let it out to you prntz!MAMA u say i changed...YES I DID CHANGECHANGE FOR THE WORST!i know...no nid say...AMONG ALL YOUR SON...WHO IS THE WORST?ME!i know its ME!all its me!u said that now...i like hack caring you right ma?if u dont hack care..then your work...i wouldnt be this way!skrg!AKU DA TK HERAN LAGIK!kau nk bagi aku duit ke tak...AKU TK KESA...kalo kau ingat aku anak yang minta duit je..PI JALAN SNR!aku boleh keje sendiri...KORG SMUE ANGGAP AKU SAPR KN?sampai tknk bukak pintu smue...PUKI KEPADA KORANG SMUE!skrg...aku pilih arah hidop aku sendiri...mak bapak nk pilihkn?sorry la sikit ehk...kau gi fikir snr...nnti bsok da tue...kau nk ikot anak spr...PILIH HARDI KE HARMAN KE HARIZAL..jgn la ehk nk pilih aku...aku ANAK JANTAN YANG SIAL!yang byk bagi korg masalah!skrg...korang smue ckp la aper korg nk ckp psl aku...aku da tk kesa lagik la...gi MAMPOS!AK!aku malas nk ckp lagik!KORANG KORANG KORANGBOLEH JALAN BO LANNBCB
today was "OK"lesson went on smoothly...the class are not that noisy...but still...the same old people...keep making noise...although they are far apart...soo the DUMB ASS...i wasnt that noisy today...paid attention during lesson time...no time for playing anymore...time to be seriousExams around the corner...Today spent lil time wif baby...only when walking to school..and during recess...after school...i didnt even get to see her FACE..she already went off...soo...i went out..slack till 5pm...thought of going home sooner...but raining...soo...ya, stayed under voiddeck awhile...reached home was around 5.30pm...rest awhile...then i went out to study...went to TC but then...aiman called me to meet himfor some reason...around 7.30pm...went to DARKSIDE...they played soccer...and so..i did joined them awhile...after studying my work...SOON..unexpected scene came...FCUKING POLICE!u dont think u play shirt i dont know horx!police in gangs but want act big?ure just a NS guy...wait till i caught you RED-HANDEDS.O.A.B!went to zhenghua police station...and blah blah blah...dont wish to talk about it anymorecoz its FCUK SHYT!
its early 6am...yet im still awake...i cant go sleep...and idk why...house is soo the peacefulonce every1 is asleep...once woke up..NOISY LIKE HELL!soo now...im alone...hoping for that somebody...that special some1...whom i called BABY...its you who im craving for right nw...i didnt heard you voice last night...where have you been?i just wish that youre alright there...been thinking of you lately..and wondering too...about how u played a huge part..in my life now...i knew that i did changed...not alot...but a lil will do...its becoz of you...its not that i wanna change...but instead...you changed me...a girl like you...is impossible to find...u made my life...right now...im in need of you bby...oh ily! idaris