Wednesday, July 2, 2008

TUESDAY 1 JULY 2008

yesterday was something

i had never expected..

i never thought it could

turned out this way..

at the very begining..

everything were so beautiful..

but in a blink of an eye..

it could be a nightmare..

i heard everything..

i was soo depressed yesterday..

im in the state where theres

nothing else i could do..

i was on the phone wif nurul..

the only person who i can rely on..

for now..

shes was in my shoe days ago..

and so, she understand me the most..

my eye were swollen and red..

due to the crying..

the reason i cried is because i love you...

but this is what i get after i gave you

my 101% of love to you...

i had always trusted you...

early morning..

before sk0ol morning assembly..

this stupidity act of mine..

made me hate myself..

i took 12pills..wif coke...

im sorry to let you know about this..

its better for you to know it earlier..

dhen later..

i really dont wan to go bck to my past..

my life back dhen was a NIGHTMARE!

the word PEACE and LOVE didnt

exist in my LIFE..

i had always followed my EGO..

REVENGE is all i know..

but now.. i had erased it all..

but somehow..

something is dragging me back to it..

and i dont wan it to happen..

whole day in school...

i mute myself from everyone..

during recess..only nurul is there for me..

i cried...

really i cried...

just cant control my tears...

cause i know..

my tears is worth crying for some1..

im sorry to all my friends..

wif my stupid act..

im sorry if im not being myself yesterday..

i know i hurt my friends badly..

wif my words and actions..

i just cant control myself..

vulgarities keep coming out

from my mouth...

im sorry for being sellfish..

i only think about my feelings

but i didnt think about

my friends' feeling..

after school..i went to lepak wif them...

i need to say this..

thanks for the care and concern..

i appreciate it all..

i never thought that they

will be there for me when im down..

u all played a small part in my life..

i dont know what to repay all of you..

once again...thankyou my friends...

around 4pm

me and ayun went to kiki haus...

just lepak ((:

i was vomitting at his haus...

it was digusting you know..

and i did gave out abit of BLOOD!!

i was having headache the whole day..

body was strengthless..

i could hardly move my body..

but i forced myself to move..

dhen 6pm i walked back home..

vomitting along the way too...

im like drunken..

but im nrt lar kn..

when i was at kiki haus...

i gave ida a msg...

a long msg..

i really hope you will think abt the msg..

im prepared to

FORGIVE & FORGET..

i wan our relationship to

last long..

i wan to make you as

my last and for all..

im sick of finding some1 new..

ihate false love..

im hoping that you will be wif me

for now...

and hopefully..forever?

iSWEAR i wan to be wif you till

ETERNITY..

theres no point if i have to find

some1 new..

if the circle of LOVE will always

the same and keep on finding some1 else

the day that i know you said

that thing to ayun...

my heart shatters to countless piece..

feels like a wall which i trusted

that i made to support myself

against the forceful wind and broke

made me collapse onto the ground

like a lifeless soul..

with no support..

theres aint any meaning left to live..

but in that picture..

im greatful that i was given that

chance to live and i did appreciate it..

right now..

i need rebuild that wall and instead

of using straws to built...

i could use brick instead so that..

i wont collapse anymore...

im just saying in a picture of my mind..

what i felt at that point of time..

baby could you help me?

do fix the broken wall wif me?

bcoz ure the only one that really

know how to fix it properly...

i dont wan it to break again...

MONKEY de Harris TONG

Labels: Shes mine

it wasnt my fault. 10:38 AM