Monday, July 28, 2008

OH HELL YEA IM HURT

yes im hurt i know...

no need to ask..

no need to say..

cause each n everyone of you

my friends...

they to read my heart...

first person im gona thank...

WINNE TEO

my friend...

early morning shes the one

saying...

harris...

did you just cry?

and why??

im glad to have such friends

around me..

i really do appreciate it...

once again..

thankyou for being my friends...

about today?

erm...

lets say...

IT SUCK TO THE CORE

at class...

its abit hard to move on..

but sooner or later..

wif the help of my friends...

i get can to my orginal self..

but not completely..

my smiles for today was FAKE

i tell you..

its totally FAKE

i dont know my friends to know..

what i feeling deep in my heart..

no point letting it out to my friends

where i could get my friends

all get intense to worry abt me

problems i faced i kept to myself..

i wont go around getting at my friends..

i wont do that...

but sorry my friends..

my attitude today was like a FCUKER..

i know ehk...

i dont wan to get hurt anymore...

i really dont want..

enuff is enuff i said...

i tried my best to be a good boyfriend..

but instead..im hurting her more..

but sometimes i felt like..

seriously... UNAPPRECIATED

i tried to make people realise that i exists..

but my existance is just a waste...

do you think that i wan to face all this?

i really dont...

do you think that i wan to make all this decision?

i really dont

but to bad...

my mind has been thinking all the negative stuffs...

thats for sure..

am i taken for granted?

i dont know..

but i think i am..

am i being too kind?

that i had to face all this?

just the begining..

and this is what i recieve..

what will happen later?

no need to say LATER..

better say SOONER..

what will happen?

worst?

when we are still bestie...

i once heard you say...

ii tk suke org sikit2 je nk mara...

i heard this..

to think back...

issit me or...

i dont wan to say it...

everything i do..

it just remind you of all your past...

thats for sure..

i know..

am i taken just to be the person..

to erase your past..

or a person to keep recall your past?

i really dont know what you want now..

please tell me what you really want...

and the reason..

i really want to know...

its like no point without

knowing what you wan...

but yet...

we still carry on...

when the day i got you..

i had erase all my past..

and i meant it

I ERASE IT ALL

its because i just wan

memories wif only you..

and no body else...

at first its hard to get it

out of my mind...

but its because of my love to you..

i did everything i can to erase my past..

and TA DA!

i erase it all..

i do got my past...

but never i told you...

coz i never wanna hurt you..

hearing my past would be hard for you..

can say HEART PAIN

seriously...

yesterday..

on our late night call...

i cried..

from 2am-5.30am

i cried

my tears just cant stop...

the words you say hurt me deeply...

until now...

im still hurt...

commiting suicide you said yesterday?

omg

my heart pain like hell...

and you can ask me summore...

why am i exist in this world..

GOD has giving us 1 life..

just one...

yet...

u say that..

u wan to end ure life...

did you even spare a thought for me?

while your saying that?

i got doubts you know..

am i who you really wan?

am i part of your life?

who am ii to you...

i could give for not 1 day wif nurul...

if everyday you wan...

u can...

i dont mind...

looking at you wif the boy...

that TALL GUY that say sayang2 at you..

in MSN...

OMG...

i angry sia..

i told my friend COIL the civil defense guy...

if not because of you..

i and my friend had went to hym..

BEAT HIM ON THE SPOT...

but i dont wan...

i fcuking angry...

not wanting to see me...

but still wif other guy?

WTF?!?!

did ii never slack with any girls?

maybe i did...

but i think wif nurul aje?

i had never slack wif a girl..

infront of you..

which makes you discomfort..

but looking back at just now...

in my heart...

i wan to ask you this...

are friends more important than i am?

i really wanna ask...

for now...

im SICK & TIRED

hati bie da cukup sakit..

ii tknk disakiti lagik...

cukup tuu cukup...

if you think now..

that im a different person...

YES I AM!

im different now...

just because of this EAR HOLE OF MINE

putting ear stick would be this KECO

think what you wan to think of me...

i think that im a a fcking boyfriend..

who had never give what you really wan...

who always hurt you..

and never give happiness to you...

what you wan to do to me..

do la ehk...

im who to you kn?

im aint someone to you kn?

im just nobody...

hate me if you wan...

coz right now..

im already hating myself

its you who im look up to every single day..

but upon that..

i got this?

bby tahu tk?

yang ii da lame bersabar?

yang ii slame ini hati ii sakit?

tapi ii tk pernah nk mengeluarkn kat bby..

walaupon aris ni hati sakit..

bile ngan ida...

aris buang smue yang telah berlaku..

aris cume ambik ngan baik...

yang buruk... aris buang...

tetapi..

malangnya...

hati aris tetap sakit...

sakit tau bby...

sakit...

skrg i nk masuk dalam bilik..

mate ii nih tengah merah..

lebam...

kerane nngis...

tapi...

tetap aris cintakan ida..

dgn seluruh keikhlasan aris..

cintaku kepadamu..

tidak akan mati..

Labels: heart pain sakit hati

it wasnt my fault. 8:10 PM