Wednesday, June 6, 2007
From yesterday till tiz morning...wen i calling hui jun... haizz.... i cried... my eyes in red...n swollen...soo badly...i tried calling her...from yesterday... but i cant reach her... morning i tried...i only get once...but edn...she didnt pick up... i told myself... wher did she had gone... how cud i get her... i m soo worried... that i dunno wad else i cud do... at that tym... i tot of slashing my arm... i dunno y i got that idea of doin soo... but i didnt...coz... now she is angry wid mie... and if i did so... i would be worst...
in my own r0om..i called her for the last tym...finally i could get her....but end up.. hui jun picking up the phone...haizz... my heart sank...i tot it was her...but no it isnt...i ask hui jun wher she... n from wad i heard...hui jun said that she is goin 2 her grandma haus or sumting...and wont mie taking her hp for quite sum day... hearing that...is soo much pain...that..my tears is drpping badly...
my head just go empty...dunno what to do next...and hui jun told mie y i crying...coz she knew how the condition of me n her....she told mie to tell the story to her...soo i did.... i really express out all my feelings to her...which i had been keeping inside my heart frm last tym... jealousy is what i hate the most... which i couldnt take it...haizz... i told her...wad had happen all... while telling her all that... i could realli feel that my heart is in pain...deadful pain...
den we hang up for a while... coz hui jun the father dunno wad ler...den later she will ask mie 2 call her back... while waiting... i think through...from the day i m wid her... thinking... how much damage i had done to her heart...and the suffering which i cause to her... i cant imagine...how bad i was... thinking through... because of mie.... her relationship btw her n MC lyk getting further and further... i was realli at fault...
i still cud remember the first tym...wen lay theng... did decided 2 break up wif mie... bcause of sumthing....i cudnt remember... haizz.... she kept that away from mie.... until i found out...from my fwens... that is wen...i change alot after hearing that she would break up wif mie... to tell u the truth... once u say about breaking... i cant even imagine...how my life would be after that...
haizz....den hui jun ask mie to called her...den i called.... but den.... i heard that lay theng was ther behind... i was lyk wad...coz just now she say that lay theng is nt ther...but now she is...haizz... den we talk3.... den wen lay theng spoke to mie... theres only 1 thing den come through my mind... and that is... about break up... the question she asked...do realli asking mie indirectly... how abt u guyz who reading my blog try guyz wad does tiz means... DO U N HER FEELS LIKE IT IS HARD 2 GET ALONG? do all of u understand tiz phrase? haizz... h0pe u guyz do....
haizz... the day b4... i chat wif my fwens...lyk fariq winnie pek n yanzhi...haizz.... theres just one thing that broke my heartz... PEK do u still remmeber what u say...in msn...i told u that i m scared of her asking for break.... but wat happens now? u told mie she wont do that kind of stuff... but...i misjudge her... haizz... i jsut dunno what to do wid myself... i m just plain nutink...
at nite...i did broke up wif her...i really cant control myself... i tot...she had promise mie nt to leave mie...but end up..she did.... haizz... i tot...promises is nt meant to be broken... is this what promises is? maybe...she broke up wif mie..coz she thinks that its betta of w/o mie... i didnt reject it...coz...for mie...i do respect her...i think...what decision she made... is for the best of us....
if breaking up wif mie...would made u much more happier than suffering...i would do that...haizz..
after breaking up for ard 30mins?or less.... they called to ask mie to call them back... fariq told mie that u realli regret of breaking up wid mie... n i regretted of nt caring for u well enuff...
i talk 2 them...for ard 20mins...den i m back wif her again...den...i hang up...
u said u wanna break....den u wanna patch back.... my mind is very confuse do u know... it makes me feel that ure just playing wid my feelings....from the tym i m wid u... i had never even tot of breaking up wif u... y couldnt u do the same a i do...share the same feeling lyk i do to u...
theres a friend of mine... which is ur fwen too... i swear i wont tell who the person is... he told mie from the beginning...b4 we stead.... he told mie... harris do u realli wan to have the relationship wid her... i said yes y?den he replied saying that... he thinks that...what u did to yz...is going to be the same way as u did to mie...but i say... nvr judge the b0ok wif its cover... coz...any1 could change... i said...i wont believe...until i do experience it by myself... dear2...can u recall the day u told mie... u wont do the same way u did to yz... but now...haizz....i m sick of making promises...or evn hearing the promises u said 2 mie...coz...all of it...is goin to waste....
to tell the truth...now...i dont really think that our relationship could even last for 1 month after tiz breaking thingy... i realli thinks tiz way.... i had always trusted u...but end...i m screwed....u broke up wid mie... my love for u is pure from the start... u gif u all my love....all my care...my worries...my tears.... my concern... i tot... i tot 2 myself... telling myself that...EVEN THOUGH SHE IS NT MY FIRST ....SHE STILL CUD BE MY LAST.... haizz... maybe my dream abt tiz...will nvr came through...
from my experience... if true love are meant to be.. no matter what the cost... other party would always give as many chances not onli 1 chance... the more chances they gave 2 each other... that means that both party do wan to be together...both party love each other... that is what i think true love is all about... i just t0ok 1 wrong move...and thats the end of us...being together... all the mistakes u had done... i nvr been soo angry b4... sumtimes...even i m angry...i wont rise my voice to u... i myself would give in... i wont blame u if u made a mistake... cause...in the world... no1 is perfect...
i dont realli mind u making mie sad or angry wif mie...but all i wan is u learning from the msitake u had done... soo that our relationship would go far... from the start...i tot...tiz relationship would last long... and i hoping that it would at least last for abt a year... but after the breaking thingy... i didnt have the confidence... it is 50/50 haizz.... for who ever i m wid...i also make the best out of it... w/o l0oking back... i would go through thin n thick... haizz.... i dunno know whther u would understand tiz... all i cud do now...is h0ping for the best...
the reason that i wanna be wid u is because....firstly...i do realli love u... i do c some1 special in uu.... but most inportantly... i wanna to c u happy wif mie...coz... for wad i heard...n my thoughts... and other ppl thinking....shawn treated u very haizz...i don wan to say ler... and i was thinking that....wen ure wid mie...u cud be happi just lyk u are wid him... COZ I HATE HIM...SCOLDING U BUSTARD....I HATE THAT.... my aim was just to make u happy n knowingly that we could go far....haizz...
i dunno what else to say...maybe tiz is jsut it... gtg now...bubbye....
MaoMao ("v")
who ii realli deserve JUST A CHANCE???
it wasnt my fault. 11:14 PM
